Unholy cow
by HonkHOnkMotherMoThEr
Summary: So i'm mostly Just writing about zombies but different stuff happens? Im bad a summaries


I'm sitting alone in the lobby of the ski resort, I had recently been replanted in the motherland after moving from england 8 years ago to America but I was now back in the UK in Scotland. _Goody ._ we had been here since 5am and I was more than ready to be on our way home, with my Ipod out of juice I had nothing left to block out the sound of my classmates bantering Luckily for me they were all outside drinking their hot cocoa and getting their fill of gossip. "Come on Mr Taylor!" I heard a familiar voice drawl. I looked up to see Rob Smitty getting forced into the lobby Mr Taylor's hand on his neck as he pushed him in. "I don't want to hear another thing from you today, do you hear me?" His voice stern. Smitty clearly not taking him seriously mimics him instead "_Do you hear me?"_ He repeats in a high pitched whine flashing a goofy smile. Mr Taylor sighed not much he can do now, "Smitty you'll be staying right here until the bus gets here." Mr taylor speaks as he walks away, as to prove a point he locks the door from the outside and sarcastically waves at Smitty who is clearly pissed off now, I wondered if Mr Taylor saw me. I guess I made myself too invisible that or Mr Taylor really doesn't care about my well being either. _Typical_. I have a sudden realization, there are no bathrooms in the lobby instead they are outside my bladder will have to wait I guess.

This is not what my mother had pictured in her mind, in her mind I'm showing off my incredible snowboarding moves, Thanks to dad I was pretty good a snowboarding, but I hadn't gone since he had died. A pang a missing my dad popped up like a jack in the box. Before Dad got sick I at least had someone to talk to, someone who understood me. Me and my mom had in a word had a stressed relationship, I didn't understand her and she didn't understand me. I was never perfect enough for her, no matter how hard I had tried so I just gave up trying, let her be disappointed I didn't care anymore.

I lean back into the brown leather seat I had been so cozied up in before Smitty got thrown in, I feel more self conscious than ever around him, not that he'd look at me anyway. Smitty had that effect on me, He _was _intimidating with his ink coloured hair, man eyeliner and leather jacket he looked like that guy in those 80's movies who sell drugs and summon satan on their days off. OK so maybe that's a little extreme but the feeling was still there. Smitty kicked the door accomplishing nothing let out a grunt and flopped down on the seat across from me. "What did you do?" It took me a minute to realise he was talking to me. I looked up Smitty raising an eyebrow at me

"What?" I asked clueless "

"Why did Mr Taylor lock you in here? You don't seem like a hell raiser."

"I uh, I didn't do anything. I just wanted Alice and her cronies to stop throwing snowballs at my back." I trailed off blushing beet red

"Wait so he just locked you in here for no reason."

"I guess." I shrugged

I got to get a better look at Smitty his brown eyes cut into me, when I realized i was staring I quickly looked away and started chewing my nails. _Way to go me lets creep out every guy shall we? _

The sound of an unearthly groaning in behind the door of the janitors closet got our attention. Me and Smitty jumped up on our feet "What the-" Smitty began cut off my more moaning. "Did you shove someone in there?" I asked a little to seriously. "Nah ,I don't do that on field trips"Smitty replied blinking at me. Smitty stepped closer to the door I got in position to run, something inside me really wanted Smitty to back away from the door. Smitty gave me a look "What's up with you?" "Nothing I replied looking at my feet Smitty pulled a scream face at me "Maybe it's Alice with a snowball!" He said shaking his hands in fake terror"I gave him and eye roll out of comebacks to think of. "Maybe we should try find a teacher? I suggested anything to keep Smitty from opening the door. "Yeah like Mr Taylors going to think I'm being serious when I say "Some kids having a meltdown in the janitors closet" He said nasally. "Good point." I sighed might as well get this over with. Smitty hesitated by the handle then lets his arms fall to his sides. "Something doesn't feel right." He trailed off _Whos scared now Smitty? _I regained my confidence and strode over to the door moaning still going followed by Bangs and shuffling it sounded like a blind person running into cupboards _looks like someone forgot their walking stick _Oh well. I knock on the door and the noise stops "Hello? are you okay? are you locked in their?" The door slams like he figure inside is try to make a touch-down. "What the shit?" Smitty looks utterly confused, his expression makes me want to laugh but I hold it in now is not the time.

"OK lets open the door, don't think the boogeyman lives in the mountains" I say as I twist the handle and pull the door open.

I smell it before I see it ,B.O mixed with rotting fish rank .My stomach lurches I clasp a hand to my mouth to prevent loss of lunch and to hold in my scream. Smitty swears and steps back a couple of feet. The thing in the closet looks like the granny from Red riding hood on meth. Her eyes are sunken in and cloudy cheeks puffy and grey riddled with ooze they look like two large boils on each side of her face. I want to throw up again. Granny lifts her thin malnourished arms towards us letting thick brown drowl slip between her lips. "Sick!" Smitty remarks and he looks like he's going to be. I step away carefully from Granny Z and scope for a weapon I spy a coat rack with three hooks It might be a little awkward but it's better than nothing. "Smitty distract GranZ over here I have an idea." Smitty doesn't ask questions instead he begins clapping his hands "Oi, Gran!" he shouts "I've been a bad boy! spank me!" Smitty shouts winking at me _Gross _I stifle a laugh anyway. I run over to the coat hanger and pray it isn't glued to the floor, my prayers are answered and i lift the bloody thing off the floor and over my shoulder like i'm about to joust with it. "Roberta!" Smitty shouts hurry up would you? "Thats not my name!" I yell back but I comply anyway, "OK Smitty Duck!"

"Wha?" he protests but ducks anyway as I run up to Granny and shove the hook through the back of her skull pinning her to the wall. _pretty as a picture. _Granny finally stops moving and I realise Smitty had gotten a face full of Granny Crotch. Smitty untangles himself face beet red. Under different circ's I'd be LMFAO ing on the floor, but i'm more shocked and afraid of whatever Granny was. Smitty reads my mind "Could be rabis?" he shrugs. Something tells me it's not. "Well I don't want to be stuck her with that...thing." I say as I plug my nose,"I guess we should try get out incase that thing tries to pelvic thrust you again eh, Smitty?"

"Sod off" Smitty snaps but I can see him smiling.

"I just want to go home."

**A/N HEY so I really like this book so I thought i'd try a bit of fanfic oops haha**

**please review! thanks :)**

**-Sarah**


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